Dear Briana,

A word of caution: while I may be engaged to Ashley, I was planning on marrying Christian Bale. So. There you have it. I miss you so much that polygamy might be okay, but I think after a couple months of planning his dinners together at Driade over Americanos and cigarettes, we might get on each others’ nerves.

I like what you have to say about illusive love. (Did you mean elusive?) Either way works. As we all know, Byron invented romantic love. Well he didn’t invent it (resignedly, I admit it) but he invented the idea that you should have it in marriage. Personally I think it’s a bit of a fallacy, but it doesn’t make it easier to deal with Ashley in a society that insists on fireworky relationships.

Before I forget: I need need need you to check out this online cookbook The woman is amazing. It reads like a funny novel, with tons of pictures (I refuse to cook things without a precise picture of what it will look like out of the oven). The way she writes reminds me of you. I’ve got a girl crush.

I accept your assignment to write about night life. I wish you’d do it first though. I downloaded this week’s Moth but it’s not about that. So I need inspiration!!

Nursing makes me hungry all the time. Tonight I’m planning on making Lee Drummond’s Bacon-Wrapped Jalepeno Thingies (sic).

You would approve.

Let me tell you, it’s strange to have a human being totally dependent on you for sustenance. I still haven’t gotten over it. In one research study, mommy mice who were given the option between a hit of heroin or nursing their itty bitty mouse babies opted for the latter every time. I think they didn’t take into account the maternal instinct; the researchers said the choice was made because of the release of oxytocin and good-feeling hormones that ooze into your brain when you nurse. All in all, though, as much as I detest having to nurse every 30 or 40 minutes (Annie’s definitely fixated), I don’t mind too much. After all, it burns calories. I’m back, effortlessly, to 128 pounds and it just keeps on going. I don’t like to brag but after waddling around at 190 it feels so good. Also I fit into all my old clothes! Which is a good thing because we have absolutely no money to buy me new ones.

My latest obsession is sewing. There’s a new church I went to last Sunday and they have small groups (which is modern-day terminology for bible study) arranged around whatever you want. As in, there’s a cooking small group, a baking small group, a knitting small group, even an eating small group! I want to find a sewing small group. I want older women to teach me how to sew properly, how to follow patterns and neat tricks. Right now I’m sewing but it’s all self-taught and I basically fly by the seat of my pants. Good in novels, bad in real life. AFTER I learn how to sew correctly, I want to make clothes. And then I want to sell them at local venues. I know of a couple right off the top of my head: there’s Roulette, and that place in U-Mall that sells locally made clothing for exorbitant prices. This is a fool-proof plan and I’ll tell you why: the only thing that could ruin it would be a loss of motivation on my part. Impossible. I’m a woman with a penchant for clothing that I can’t afford. And I’ve had ideas for clothes since like, middle school. Who hasn’t?? There was an inspiring article in last week’s New Yorker (did you know I have a subscription? Not only does it make me feel clever and cultured, it actually makes me clever and cultured. There are articles on just about anything you can imagine, so interesting)– anyway, this article was about the Rodarte sisters who just started designing and sewing their own inventions and they got big fast. I don’t aspire to Vogue or anything but I wouldn’t complain. Oh there was a bit in there that made me angry; these sisters are a little plump (they look good) but before Vogue featured them, they requested the Rodartes to go on a diet, which Vogue had sent to their door every morning containing the meals for the day. All this because Vogue considered them too overweight to be ideal. Isn’t that disgusting. They looked pretty.

Anyhow the article was inspiring. Now. Go ahead and write up your late night story. Show me how it’s done.

I await!!! Eagerly!


One Comment

  • Burnt Toast wrote:

    So I checked out your Pioneer Woman. The photos make me want to cry.
    At my local, small grocery stores/marts, half of the food is instant and disgusting, and the other half I don’t know what it is or how to cook it.
    The photos of the food make me happy and homesick, also jealous. I begrudge people who are fancy pants good cooks, mostly because of I’m not telling and also because of don’t you wish you knew. But really because I’m sure I’d be pretty decent if I practiced, but I haven’t and I’m lazy. I’m much more practiced at eating good food.

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