Beanius Pohlighayesius– a fine specimen

I just googled “best mommy blogs” and looked at maybe ten. They are Boring with a capital B. I was hoping for inspiration, but maybe I ought to stick with Thomas Wolfe and Garcia Marquez. Their little-bruited mommy blogs. Fortunately, while I am a mother, I don’t think of this journal as a mommy blog. Geez. What an awful thought. I’d prefer it to be about literature, lofty thoughts of mine, and my traumatic life.

Bubo’s been getting into the chickens down the road. Chickens owned by a struggling Hispanic family. I suppose they’re struggling. Why else would anyone own chickens? It makes me feel angrier at Bubo. He’s totally living up to his name. (Bubo as in, bubonic plague. Shady suggested it and it stuck.) I’d like to give him away but Annie’s awfully attached. They share Bubo’s breakfast and when she’s feeling peckish, she peglegs over to the sack of food and has a morsel or two. She’s also really good at feeding him. I planned this, I might add. Bubo is a pitbull mix, which are generally ill-reputable when it comes to babies, children, and little people. So I’ve taught him that Annie is the Littlest Mistress. It totally sounds weird, but “littlest master” is even worse. I’ll give Annie a dog treat and hold her hand out to the dog. Sometimes she gets mad because she was planning on eating it. Anyway, I think it’s working. I want him to know she is the Littlest Provider. Dogs respect Providers. They are subject to him/her as Pack Leader. And therefore, won’t bite their heads off. Hopefully. I’m sure Bubo, who is far from the brightest crayon, is bewildered at how Annie provides for him. I see perplex and vague envy in his shallow brown eyes whenever he notices that she is clutching a hunk of baguette. The Littlest Provider, I see him musing. So tender. So pink. So hairless. How does she manage it??

I know I said I’m not a mommy blogger, but apparently this post wants to be. I will embrace it. Continuing the peregrination, I want to bring to your attention the new name Ray Pie has bestowed upon little Annie. Beanius Pohlighayesius! Here’s the picture and thread:


“And here we see the Annie in her natural habitat. They are really quite docile unless startled. Their diet consists mostly of dirt, milk and tree bark.”

“Rarely sighted, this fine specimen, is now known as Beanius Pohlighayesius. A new species discovered almost a year ago in the wild, out back area of Carrboro, NC.”
“The Beanius Pohlighayesius, while generally a tolerant and easy-going specimen, is, when aroused, a holy terror. Paleontological evidence suggests they rarely sleep, and consume vast quantities of mango, banana, kiwi, and various other tropical fruit. Recent scholarship is still out on the question of how they consume so much dirt and canine food, having solely two bottom teeth.”
Ahh, that’s funny. Going back to my novel now.


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